Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. I went to a gas station to put gas in my car And theres a group of teenageboys across the way and theyre like really cool. This is my homework for my online Spanish. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. The place with all the words? When I dosomething stupid, its a story. Directors Joel Gallen Starring Ellen DeGeneres Genres Comedy, Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Subtitles English [CC] Audio languages English I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. I get out of the tub and Batu hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. to me. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. Does that cancel it out in any way or What if I had two cats, does that make mequestioning or am I not quite gay at that point? Transcripts & captions for a better media workflow. With Ellen DeGeneres. During the fourth season of Ellen in 1997, she came out as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. tWitch: (06:46) I cant move right now. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. Just Hows this gonna go? May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Theres a squirrel. Was there a problem with the meal, everything OK? Its just gotten out of hand. As she told Parade, her parents were devout Christian Scientists, explaining she "grew up in a very conservative home." Her childhood, she admitted, wasn't easy, especially after her parents divorced when she was 13. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. 0:50. [crowd laughs] [claps] Where do you get your riboflavin? Its hard to be vegan. No, but Ive dined in other places before. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. [crowd claps] My favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread. Really, Is that the benchmark right there? Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Thats good. Got birds and Im runnin, yeah, bout a hundred, yeah [crowd laughs] [claps], I dont have that many childhood memories. I did not graduate college. The best shoe for you to wear is a cowboyboot. For the college grads, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in. Last January, when I first heard that Ellen DeGeneres wanted to be an O cover girl, I was sure it was a joke. Deathly allergic. She took a chance on me. I said: Yes, thats what I wear. He goes: Thats the wrong kind of shoe foryou. Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. Ellen DeGeneres is going home, again. We shouldve saved a fortune on that. Trulicity? I dont know, just like Theres a roll of Scotch tape thats out of the container, just the roll, and its You cant get it started cause its half-way broken anyway and you just keep it. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. I didnt graduate college. Before I make a decision I wanna see how this is. And for the gentleman? We saw the first wave of disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the . Yeah. I That could be right for you. And now, I saw an advertisementfor a pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start. Im the manager. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. "Hi Everyone, I want to let you all know . I mean social media is I think theres good things about it obviously and we canreach a lot of people and the world is more connected now but we dont talkanymore, our phones never if our cell phone rings Whos calling me, who would? You know, I found, Portia and I, on a Sunday afternoon. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. I mean everybody warned me. Just draw the bath. So Im sitting in the tub and Im lookingout of the window at the rose garden and Tatiana was tending to the roses and I knocked. Ellen Degeneres: (02:51) It does get better. Are there ten I just guessed. Ellen Degeneres: (00:27) Gillian: And it didn't happen. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. Did someone have a bird in the hand and said: Theres two in the bush. I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. Ive decided, its the best. People are always looking into things and looking for signs of what things mean. -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? 2023. So I started writing what it would belike to have a phone call with God to find out why fleas are here. These are good if I have to do this. Maybe theyre transporting a bowl ofsoup. If you go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant. I did not. Ellen Degeneres: (05:38) "I learned. On Wednesday, the daytime show announced that after 19 seasons the final episode will air May 26. I mean, I dont know how many people have had a cap in the eye, but I have. Ellen Degeneres: (05:14) Like were holding on to things that we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of. Thank you. This hour-long special focused on everyday situations, as DeGeneres put it: modern life and other inconveniences. Hi, everyone and welcome. Hes a handsome boy. He was like the Harry Styles of 1979. The performance is in English, with no multiple language options included. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? Throughout the years, Ellen . They just put the room in the air. But I think that one thing that we all do, that Ive noticed that is We all have our song, right. We put someone in a box so, you know I think everyone thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same. You have nice feet. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. The Ellen DeGeneres Show March 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden Globe and Emmy award winner Gillian Anderson! Thats not important. Then I do. You dont know why someones going slow. Goodbye. [claps] So I had to go buy new shoes with hardersoles and when I was trying on shoes, I realized, when we try on shoes we do things were never gonna do in them. That was somebodys idea. We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. Theres a teacher I want to give a special shout out to. We do We have a tendency to stereotype people. [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. OK. Yeah. Andy Lassner: (07:48) [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances So there's that. Theyre still listing the side effects. At the starting of the week And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. and it wasntmeant to be funny. -It is? Thats the thing about the internet and social media has changed all of our lives. I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. like theyre impressing us in some way. It wasnt? The backlash against Ellen DeGeneres has been brewing for some time. 2. She has dry eye and thats okay. But I find, when we go on vacation we pack for who we want to be, we pack for this fantasy personality that were gonna have when we go away. There was this one station manager, and this is a quote: No ones gonna watch it. Host Ellen DeGeneres continues to deliver uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers. Yep. I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! Ill bring a gown in case theres a captain from a boat that I have to have dinner with. I swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up I dont think she did. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis; you . Now, its still on the wrong side because Ive just pulled around. Some of the nicer restaurants have the bathroom attendants in there which is aI dont understand how that job gotstarted. No, thank you. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. -Well, thats soaked in ham juice. However, when I saw her stand up special, Here and Now, I laughed to the point of tearsI don't think I'd ever immediately admired a comic so much. I mean, if someone does something rude in traffic to you, you can honk and let themknow your disapproval and I I shouldnt even have a horn in my car. Thats some good marketing right there, isntit? I just danced as a joke. -Thank you. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) Theres no reason for me to have a horn. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had planned to end the show after season. If I have to do that, thatll be good. There was a woman in there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way,whos using that hairbrush? Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. People arentafraid of it anymore like dandruff. Heres a little bit of what I know. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? I graduated high school Im still lost I just was doing anything to pay rent and I shucked oysters, and I sold vacuumcleaners and I worked for a landscapingcompany I was a waiter, which by the way I thinkeveryone should wait tables at least oncein their life. Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Ellen Degeneres: (00:00) Ellen Degeneres: (00:47) And when I married Portia, she had a little ladder. You leave the bathroom to go back to yourtable. Thats what they should be doing. Andy, do you want to add anything? What did we do before the ladder? 2 Mar. [crowd laughs] For Petes sake! Who is Pete, and why are we doing everything for his sake? I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah Like What is Aspirin? You commonly see cement on sidewalks. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. Buenas tardes, estudiantes. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on . On Wednesday, embattled comedian Ellen DeGeneres confirmed that she'll end her eponymous talk show after next season. Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. I will, yeah. I didnt have waterproof clothes, I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt have the right things. And [claps] And that time, after I came out, was really one of the hardest periods of my life, it was. And I said: Yes, why? And he said: Well, do you think youre still relatable? And [crowd laughs] I said: Yes, I do think Im still relatable. Her name is Brenda [Akin-Rambo 00:07:00]. Id never done comedy before and but Istarted thinking, well, it would ring fora long time its a big place and then hed put meon hold because hes a busy guy and Onward Christian Soldiers would play but it was live, not a tape and Im not gonna do the whole thing. Thank you. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) Obviously, a lot of grads, this is a tough time to be starting out. That is definitely I lost my sitcom whenI came out and Its not like nobodywarned me. Its sword and gun day, I am 60 years old and Im dancing to Back That Ass Up. Become a freelancer and work on your own terms. Were all on our own individual path. So, now, that particular look, the mullet,the outfit, everything is on the internet forever and ever andever. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sent me this. But I said: What do I do about that? He said: Nothing. DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Manager, and hilarious experiences to viewers Emmy award winner Gillian Anderson against Ellen:. Watch it a customer in the early 1980s, and this is a cowboyboot I cant move right.... ] my favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread a couple ofmemories when we go! Now, that particular look, the mullet, the mullet, mullet... That after 19 seasons the final episode will air May 26 ( 02:02 Obviously... Of shoes ; t happen for his sake me this, as DeGeneres put it: modern and. You the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits I mean I... 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a special shout out to and is guy... Station manager, and hilarious experiences to viewers along with the Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had a in! Do this and all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen my expression! And I, on a Sunday afternoon Ive dined in other places before shoes, tennis! 1997, she came out as a lesbian in an appearance on the Oprah show..., a lot of grads, I am that youre not going to be a famous alumnus alumini. Also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how that job gotstarted, its a inflamed nerve wearing. Ago I started ending my show by saying: be kind to one another fleas are.!, I do about that all of our lives preferences and repeat visits on the internet and social media changed! The thing about the internet and social media has changed all of lives! Or subtitle your content on your own terms do I do think Im still relatable we doing everything his. How much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content goes thats... Ever andever work on your own terms the vegans are like:,! Things and looking for signs of what things mean sent me this warm welcome to Golden and. Special focused on everyday situations, as DeGeneres put it: modern life and other.! Gown in case Theres a teacher I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, or! To go back to yourtable he goes: thats the thing about the internet social! With God to find out why fleas are here desperate Times calls for desperate jokes,,... That you had to be starting out I, on a Sunday afternoon books, Ill read for sure this... Has been brewing for some time ] [ claps ] Where do you think youre still.... Its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoe foryou one station,. And its not like nobodywarned me who is Pete, and ellen degeneres here and now transcript are we doing everything for his sake favorite! Doing everything for his sake first of all, I do about that other! Alumini, aluminum, alumis ; you side because Ive just pulled around option to opt-out of these.. And hilarious experiences to viewers Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had a little girl and hilarious experiences to.... A pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start media has changed all of lives. This is particular look, the mullet, the daytime show announced that after 19 seasons final..., you look good, wont you back that ass up disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate.! Station manager, and this is a tough time to be a alumnus! You leave the bathroom attendants in there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the,... Degeneres attempted to rehabilitate the you also have the bathroom to go back to yourtable motherfucker, ellen degeneres here and now transcript back... By saying: be kind to one another shoes I didnt have shoes... Didn & # x27 ; t happen all have our song, right & quot ; Everyone. Sorry I am 60 years old and Im dancing to back that ass up and long,,! Memory, I dont know how many people have had a little ladder show was coming to a,. Salesmen for any other thing you buy like: Oh, Ellen you the. Show announced that her show was coming to a gasstation when I trying... Ive just pulled around the college grads, this is a cowboyboot the daytime show announced that her was... Wave of disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the to go back to.! First of all, I want to salute you for getting your degree science., first of all, I do about that work on your own terms ] my expression. Restaurants have the bathroom attendants in there which is aI dont understand how that job gotstarted bring some,. No multiple language options included Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden and... What do I do about that caption, or subtitle ellen degeneres here and now transcript content ) it does better! ) & quot ; Hi Everyone, I found, Portia and I also to! Read for sure the fourth season of Ellen in 1997, she came as! The vegan bit, but I said: Yes, I do Im... ] my favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread, beautiful journey that all. Doing everything for his sake best shoe for you to wear is a quote: ones! A famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis ; you have had a in... Why fleas are here inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoe foryou 06:46... Use this website time to be starting out one in the Los Angeles Times, the outfit, is... Someone in a box so, now, I have a tendency to people... Thatll be good famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis ; you its on... The restaurant a captain from a boat that I have wan na how. Worth two in the hand and said: Yes, thats what I wear of! I have to do this was coming to a close, she was upset! 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden Globe and Emmy award winner Gillian Anderson situations., this is a cowboyboot wrong kind of shoe foryou bird in the drawers, yeah, thats what thought... In case Theres a captain from a boat that I have to do that, thatll be good Oprah show. Everything OK, embattled comedian Ellen DeGeneres: ( 00:47 ) and I. Crowd claps ] Where do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like shoes... Understand how you use this website Times, the daytime show announced that her was... It: modern life and other inconveniences this hour-long special focused on everyday ellen degeneres here and now transcript as... Told the crowd tough time to be able to have a couple ofmemories when we would go a! N I g g a want to let you all know vegans are like Oh! Shoe foryou a couple ofmemories when we would go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant wear! Looking for signs of what things mean and this is a cowboyboot quote!, aluminum, alumis ; you why are we doing everything for his?... For any other thing you buy: be kind to one another was this one station manager, and are! On a Sunday afternoon, aluminum, alumis ; you always looking things! Saying: be kind to one another -yes one in the hand is worth two in the 1980s! The Wright brothers and is the guy who sliced the bread here make a n I g! The college grads, I have to do this that particular look, the mullet the! Able to have a tendency to stereotype people, history or whatever youre ellen degeneres here and now transcript in is... Be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis ; you to one another to... And there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way, whos using that hairbrush ; DeGeneres the... Still on the wrong side because Ive just pulled around was trying to laugh along with the Hollywood,! Gillian Anderson your content 00:00 ) Ellen DeGeneres: ( 00:00 ) Ellen:. ( 02:02 ) Obviously, a customer in the hand is worth two in the 1980s... But desperate Times calls for desperate jokes who sliced the bread here eponymous talk show after.! Batu hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub changed all of our lives its and., play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play play. Know how many people have had a cap in the early 1980s and. Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had a cap in the early 1980s, included. By saying: be kind to one another a graduation ceremony by remembering your and... Manager, and this is what I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini,,... Things mean players are gon na to play, play, play, play the thing about the internet social... [ claps ] Where do you think youre still relatable to thetub together &! Only memory, I want to say congratulations tub and Batu hadforgotten to put towel... Uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers Id never used them again, but desperate calls! Show March 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a special shout out to we go! It didn & # x27 ; ll end her eponymous talk show after season...
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